The Tea With Opinionated Mommy: Facebook Timeline Confessions

imagesThe Tea Is Served: I am getting so sick and tired of people posting all of their personal shyt on Facebook Timeliness. Checking my timeline is like taking a long dark journey through the most deranged thoughts and confessions of the mentally ill. There are posts about getting azz, washing azz, and eating azz on my timeline. To think that I have so many FB friends who are experiencing such adversity…and have the nerve to share this garbage with the world.

Ok…let me stop lying, checking my Facebook timeline is sometimes the most entertaining part of my day, as people have no filter when they are behind their computers and mobile devices. And for some reason, people are getting into Facebook Wars and want to share just how pissed off they are at a friend or relative. My favorite are the passive-aggressive posts in which the pissed off person avoids using a friend’s name, but that friend is fully aware who that post is directed towards. Peep this recent post:


“If any motherf**kers have a problem with me come and see me instead of doing all that bumpin’. I ain’t the one bit*h. If you feel like I’m talking to you than you a guilty motherf#$ker.”


Just let me say this, these people who are having Facebook wars and confessions, are still friends with their families and coworkers. It’s safe to assume that they are also getting these horrific posts in their timelines as well. Do better people!


The Most Ridiculous Confessions on Facebook

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Piece of Burger from Burger King

The viral video of the moment is our very own green haired Avatar-looking fellow who has made the quote “peace of burger from Burger King” #pob, a popular hashtag on Facebook and other social media outlets. My first response was, what the hell? and oh my lawd!

Courtney Barnes is seen giving his account of a police involved car accident and decided that he would deliver a rather flamboyant rendition that has captivated the public. In addition to his ambitious performance, he wore neon green weave harnessed through a baseball cap and a drawn uni-brow outlined in gold eyeliner. Let me repeat that…”…and a uni-brow outlined in gold eyeliner.” LMAO!

Yes he is a character and this performance seemed rehearsed, but maybe he is just a natural born performer. Courtney has been a contestant on So You Thing You Can Dance. Maybe show business is in his future; but for now he is a viral phenomenon and unofficial spokesperson for Burger King (lol).

Honestly, I have laughed so hard at Courtney Barnes til tears were dripping down my face. The absolute best quotes from home-chick’s outrageous interview:

  • “…I was actually going to buy me a piece of hamburger from Burger King. and I just stopped right in the middle because my hunger just went away.”
  • “…and the police car just a twisted around like a tornado girl!”
  • “…this police officer just don’t know if he’s gonna make or if he’s gonna tap out.” (While mouth hangs open an awkward amount of time)
  • “…Lawd be with this young man…he need a blessing.”

JonBenet Ramsey: Why are Americans obsessed?

JonBenet Ramsey: why are americans obsessed

Continue reading “JonBenet Ramsey: Why are Americans obsessed?”

I’m a Grown Azz Man/Woman

Don’t you get tired of hearing that old phrase of I’m a grown ass man or I’m a grown ass woman? It’s starting to plague society like that ridiculous Television show Scandal is doing our TV air waves! I mean essentially if you are as grown as you say you are, you should not have to yell it out like a rambunctious child.

The first time I heard this phrase was from a crack head in the parking lot of Stater Bro’s because I failed to give her enough change for a snack at Jack -N- Box, so she say! The crack head became irate when I inquired about the purpose she needed two dollars. She responded “do you got it or not? Don’t be questioning me about no damn two dollars; I’m a grown ass woman!” Now if you know me, you know that I looked at her like you done lost your crack headed azz mind talking to me like that after I just gave you a dollar fifty of my hard earned money. I told her mam, I’m giving you this money because I’m a man of God first and I would want somebody to help me if I was hungry. But let’s be real, you on that powder! I know because I grew up with a crack head that once stole my Starter coat and wore it all summer then sold it for a 10 dollar rock!

Long story short, I informed her that true grownups don’t broadcast it, they show it, they live it, they about it.  Growing up is a process not a race. If it were that simple, we’d all be track stars. So if you’re one of those people that like to inform us all that you are grown because you pay 2 bills, please do some self-reflection and GET REAL!!@

Bossman,

Guest Writer

Substance abuse is hilarious with Willie Nelson

Blog StuffLOL!!! Oh come on!! You know its funny! I am the last person to make light of any situation involving substance abuse because I have seen how drugs have destroyed people’s lives. There is nothing funny about shooting something foreign into your body for a short-lived high. When I found this poster on Facebook, I just couldn’t stop laughing. My career has always placed me in the center of substance abuse cases and I understand that you can only do so much and move on because that is the nature of drug life. Even with the ones you love, you have to say a prayer and live your own life because they are not the same person they were before the addiction. Addicts are for themselves by themselves. Real Talk.