Hand Holding Perpetrators

Photo by http://www.harpyness.com/
Photo by http://www.harpyness.com/

This isn’t a post hating on those who are deeply in love and can’t help but show public affection, but just my random thoughts about holding hands in the dumbest places. The month of love is months away, but I have noticed many couples flaunting their undying lust/love in public. I think its sweet that grown azz people hold hands and swing their little arms excitedly while doing the most mundane things.

Today, I saw a couple holding hands at the bus stop. Like really? Its damn near 100 degrees outside, but y’all locked up like its paradise. I guess that’s what love does to you sometimes. Sweating, musty, but holding hands nonetheless. Later in the day, there was a hand-holding couple leaving the local Rite Aid, and they pranced to their car full of children like it was Christmas. They apparently went in the store for some feminine products, and were in love…while picking out the cheapest brand of tampons? I don’t know. I guess its sweet, but do we have to be subjected to the happy prancing couples holding hands while ordering food at McDonald’s, or getting their oil changed at Jiffy Lube? My favorite…couples holding hands at the local food stamp office. If I were applying for food stamps, I wouldn’t be holding anyone’s hand, I would be pissed the hell off from being hungry.

Borderlines are the Antichrist

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Time to serve some tea…

Since living in California, I have run across some of the weirdest folks on the planet. Let me just say this…the weird ones are the most honest and genuine. It’s the posers that I have to look out for these days. The fakes, the inauthentic, the personality crooks are the ones destroying the world around us. I love when someone can just come out and say exactly what they are thinking without feeding me a plate of bullshit. Let me know the real you is all I’m saying, and from there I can assess whether you qualify as a friend or foe.

I go on this rant because I experienced a situation years ago when a close friend turned out to be a common psychopath with Borderline Personality disorder. Although I come across these types of folks working in my particular field often, I’ve never met someone who was an identical twin to the chick in the movie “Gone Girl” until this chick walked her massive ass into my university. For all of you who aren’t hip to the mental health lingo, a person with borderline personality disorder is very sophisticated in manipulation and are experts in drawing in potential victims under the guise of friendship. The first few encounters are euphoric, as you dare to release your most inner thoughts to this new pleasant and loyal friend. Those with BPD will use your weakness against you just to fulfill whatever goal thats been stiring in their warped brain.

So as I was saying about this borderline bitch who victimized me to a point where people who I had known and loved were turning their backs on me because this sophisticated little borderline was such a cunning genius. I thought I had found a life long friend, but in the end, the people I cared about would spit on my grave on account of this tawdry little hoe-bag. She was able to infiltrate my inner circle, plant the seeds of destruction, and sit back while I simmered in misery. She fooled everyone. But the thing about borderlines, people always see the big picture in the end. After your relationships have been fragmented and you are defeated by the exhaustion of defending yourself, people start to see what you were fighting all along. As soon as you let your guard down, the Borderline bitch, guts you for all you’ve got for purposes of making herself feel better. Borderlines often try to make themselves out to be victims. They elicit sympathy from unsuspecting bystanders by drawing people in with their attractive personality. As long as the borderline perceives you as an alley in their emotional trainwreacked-universe, you will remain in their good graces. You will be shielded from their utter destruction until next time. But if you try to establish yourself as a prominent individual, their anxiety is heightened, and self-preservation as the queen or king bee is kick started.

Self-preservation for a borderline is much more intense than regular folk. Borderlines intentionally establish themselves with a specific profile that serves as their personal signature or persona to draw in unsuspecting victims to fulfill their positive self-esteem quota. If you’ve ever interacted with a borderline, you are aware that they have very low self-esteem and often turn to drugs, eating disorders, or promiscuity to fill a dark empty hole that is their soul.

In my borderline’s case…it was an eating disorder…meaning her big ol’ ass was unable to say no to warm donuts at 2 AM. No matter how many friends she held hostage with her captivating personality, she was always in “destruction mode” when an individual wanted to exercise their right to be a unique individual.

Gay Rights…The Tea With Opinionated Mommy!

I didn’t have a personal stake in the decision for gay rights today, but I want to say congrats to all who are impacted by this decision. I’m from the south so I know many people who are enraged at this point. It’s hilarious to see these Facebook posts. When I started seeing comments that included Sodom and Gomorrah I politely exited Facebook and went about my day. It’s not the end of the world people, get over it.

I’m no Gay person or advocate, but what someone does in their bedroom has absolutely nothing to do with me and my family. People should be able to live their lives without judgement from me, who is far from perfect. I am a Christian and my heart tells me to leave this matter to God because I am a sinner like the next man. We can sit here and argue about what the bible says till the cows come home, we live in a nation where there is supposed to be a separation of church and state, so there was absolutely no legal basis for denying any entire group of people the right of marriage.

Now lets get to the responses from the Conservatives because you know they are about to come up with the most ignorant azz shyt you will ever see and hear on this matter.

I laughed from a very healthy place when I heard this nonsense. Ted Cruz actually said “Today is the Darkest 24 Hours in our nations history.” Well, I’m pretty sure I can come up with a few examples that could be considered worst than granting healthcare to Americans, and allowing gay people to marry each other. It was a pretty dark day when some racist idiot murdered nine people while they were having bible study. So excuse me Mr. Cruz if I can’t co-sign your bull shyt like Hannity did throughout this interview of you whining like a little bytch. I’m waiting for the responses from Bill Oreilly and the rest of the conservative horde to give their biases/hateful opinion about the SCOTUS decision. Maybe Fox News will leave the United States and relocate to Canada. Let them deal with all the hateful shyt spread by this crap network.

The Tea With Opinionated Mommy: Toxic Friends

imagesToxic Friends…Your Tea Is Served!

Have you ever had a friendship with someone who turned into one of those toxic persons who enjoy reveling in other people’s pain? Sometimes the friendship will never work because a person’s personality changes to shyt.

After severing a life long relationship with a so-called best friend it takes its toll, but in the end you are reminded why you severed the relationship in the first place. Your childhood friend transforms into a total bytch that you can’t trust worth shyt. You can tell her one thing in a phone call, and in the next five minutes you get calls from people enraged because they heard the shyt you just told the bytch in confidence. If you have known someone since childhood, doesn’t that at least give you an hour of loyalty?

Unfriended

After a few years of broken communication with this person, you finally decide that maybe having a relationship on Facebook is safe and appropriate. Well, the problem with this idea is…every post this person writes enrages you to a point that you are angrily commenting on shyt you would never express publicly.  The rage that you continue to feel inside could derive from the inevitable loneliness that you felt once that relationship dissolved, and it could be that this person’s personality is severely infuriating because you have grown to love life without the drama.

Whatever the reason…your azz is unfriended!

Genital Mutilation in Failed Relationships

small-penis-cartoon2No matter the reason, criticizing the penis is hitting below the belt. There are many women who use it as a weapon when the relationship fails. Let’s stop the genital mutilation tactics during crucial times in relationships; it’s a total cliche and in the end, criticizing the penis makes you look like a fool and ruins any chance of reconciliation in the future.

It’s not the size of the ocean

Let’s be real, for realz here. Weren’t you the one who bragged to your messy ass girlfriends that “It’s not the size of the ocean, but the motion of the ocean..or lotion…whatever?” That was your justification for accepting a relationship with a man you loved; and with a man who wasn’t necessarily well endowed. Don’t use this flaw against lil-penis just because of bitterness, it’s the worst insult a man can hear from someone he once loved.