Failing at Anger Managment

There comes a time in our lives when we lose our ever loving mind because we have taken on too much responsibility that we can realistically bare. Let us not forget the sleep deprivation and the long days at the office.

Honescropped-images.jpgtly, I am effing exhausted! We choose our
own lives and our own paths, but that doesn’t mean that we are capable of fully negotiating the goals we have set for ourselves.

No matter how much you want something, sometimes you just ain’t gonna get it. I wish that I worked in a place similar to that of Texas. No matter the goofy, and embarrassing politics, working in Texas means a lot more than other places. I can genuinely say that I loved my work environment and made some life long friends.

However, when you’ve grown up in such an environment your entire life, moving to another state with different cultural expectations and values can leave you in a state of culture shock and sadness.

Getting on the matter at hand! Failed Anger Management? Another symptom of sleep deprivation and functioning in too many roles simultaneously is Anger. Right now, I think that I have said “I hate all human beings” at least twice a day for two months. It has become a pathological fixation on nonsense that makes me want to verbally lash out and purposely hurt someone’s feelings. Problem with that is, underneath the pathological anger shyt, there is this kind hearted person who is constantly apologetic for raving and behaving like an utter lunatic.

During my drive to work, the good days only include me screaming “fck you” at the top of my lungs when abruptly cut off by some weird looking miniature car that probably only runs on sea weed and cow shyt.

On days when I’ve only had a few hours of sleep, I become more suggestive with the middle finger. Recently, the amount of expletives dropping from my mouth have even stunned me. Where is all of this anger originating from? Your guess is as good as mine.

What I am sure of is that I feel peace at home with my babies and my awesome husband. Or shall I say my awesome fussy husband who probably fusses at me daily about things that I see as trivial. He is such a good husband and dad though that I can’t really complain. He is my rock. We are solid. But my anger outside the household is atrocious and it needs to be addressed.

If you don’t know how to treat an anger problem, these have been the most successful strategies of managing my anger:

  1. Understand that your anger should not be put on display at work: I’ve found that listening to really inappropriate music filled with expletives has a calming affect. You want to know why? Well, If I’m jamming Eminem, I can count on his lyrics to to address any insane problem I’m having that day. He raps about murder…though I don’t want to murder anyone, but at least giving me a visual from the music is entertainment. It serves as a distraction from the trivial shyt going on in my life.
  2. Ok, there really is no number two. I’ve resorted to listening to the most violent and ghetto music in order for me to at least pretend that someone knows my struggles. But really, how can a gangsta rapper know how it feels to write a dissertation proposal that has been plaguing your existence for almost two years?
  3. I try to  bombard my husband with my angry rantings and he seems to check out at some points. I guess if I were in his shoes and my wife only spoke the language of “fck that bitch, he gets on my fckn nerves, and this is my favorite…”well they can go and fck themselves with something hard and prickly”, I would rather check out too.

It has recently come to my intention that I chose a career that I hate, but that also challenges me. I love my career depending on the day. If I’m just out visiting with clients, I’m good. Most of the time I am listening to their nonsense. Other times, I’m trying to remember when my next facial, manicure, and pedicure is due.

And let me not forget to go in on these idiots who for some reason think its appropriate to complain about every fucking thing at the office. Dude, you are not there to live and give birth, you are there to work and not irritate your fcking coworkers. There are some fields that should not be so adversarial. Everyday there is a constant battle between good and evil at the job. I hate when people whispering when we all can still hear your ass BECAUSE WE ARE IN CUBICLES. And then there are the days when I hear some bull shyt that is so annoying and trivial at the same time that I just want to tell the perpetrator, “just go the fck away.”

 

 

 

 

Morbidly Obese and Still Beautiful? Bih Where?

After having a few babies, and struggling with the adversities of life, your weight may fluctuate through the years. Sometimes hitting the gym just isn’t in the cards when you have to pick of two small children after working full time, and still have to get home to do research for a dissertation. So, its safe to assume that I am a curvy woman. Thick in the areas where it counts I guess. There is nothing wrong with loving yourself no matter the size, but when I look at this video, all I see is someone who struggles to get up a flight of stairs, and who is obviously lying about her blood pressure. This heifer said that her blood pressure was at “athletic levels.” Bih stop lying! When my weight starts increasing, my blood pressure shoots through the roof and I start hearing my heart beat in my ears. No way in hell she is healthy at 400 pounds. Then this Bih said her number one goal in life is to reach 500 pounds. Well good luck with getting laid. There are some men who are turned on by morbidly obese women, but exactly what avenue the guy will take to get the cookie is beyond me. 

While the “model” gorged herself with odd combinations of food items, she stood around naked most of the video. It’s cool to love your size, but why show your naked azz for the world to see? There are plenty of big beautiful women who demonstrate their bountifulness while properly dressed. She said after high school she went straight into “online work”. Well what ever happened to attending college, or a trade school, or anything else other than eating for a living?

Now, the mother may have some untreated mental health issues here. This loser encourages her daughter to be weird and icky online. When I gain weight, my mother is the first to say, “ooh you din’ gained weight, boo boo.” No way in hell would she encourage me to gain weight, take off my clothes, and post half naked pictures on the internet. And let me say this, if my mother found me eating for money online she would beat my grown naked azz and drive me down to the nearest university to get an education.

Hand Holding Perpetrators

Photo by http://www.harpyness.com/
Photo by http://www.harpyness.com/

This isn’t a post hating on those who are deeply in love and can’t help but show public affection, but just my random thoughts about holding hands in the dumbest places. The month of love is months away, but I have noticed many couples flaunting their undying lust/love in public. I think its sweet that grown azz people hold hands and swing their little arms excitedly while doing the most mundane things.

Today, I saw a couple holding hands at the bus stop. Like really? Its damn near 100 degrees outside, but y’all locked up like its paradise. I guess that’s what love does to you sometimes. Sweating, musty, but holding hands nonetheless. Later in the day, there was a hand-holding couple leaving the local Rite Aid, and they pranced to their car full of children like it was Christmas. They apparently went in the store for some feminine products, and were in love…while picking out the cheapest brand of tampons? I don’t know. I guess its sweet, but do we have to be subjected to the happy prancing couples holding hands while ordering food at McDonald’s, or getting their oil changed at Jiffy Lube? My favorite…couples holding hands at the local food stamp office. If I were applying for food stamps, I wouldn’t be holding anyone’s hand, I would be pissed the hell off from being hungry.

Sex In Public

There are many venues for having sex, but I don’t think a public park is the most romantic setting to get your rocks off. I recently saw a video that showed a little sexual transaction being made on the side of a damn tree. Whomever recorded the video were literally right in back of the entrepreneur and her customer as they swiftly made sweet passionate lust against nature. Hope she didn’t get any insect bites. The customer couldn’t really get into his deed because he was too busy looking out for…the public. At least they attempted to be discreet since they both kept their clothes on. However, at the end, she threw up her dress showing her naked azz while pulling up her thong. The end of the encounter was quite strange because it seemed that he wanted more after paying her a fee. Like dude, she got her money, what do you want…a relationship?

Exactly what is wrong with people these days? Don’t they know it would be just a little more appropriate to have sex in the back of a parked car, or even in a back alley? If both of you are too broke for a motel room, you don’t deserve sex. As people say, you have to spend money to make money.

This video reminded me of that episode of Sex in the City, in which Miranda met a guy who was only interested in having sex if there was a chance of getting caught. Not that this example was similar to the tree-sex people in any way, it just popped in my head.

CLICK HERE for link to the video…

Humans Are Full Of Shyt

I learn valuable lessons on a daily basis regarding those around me, and I have concluded that humans are full of shyt and can kiss my ever loving azz. From the time I step into the office, till the time I am grabbing my shyt to get out of that place, it seems that the entire world is full of chaos for those eight to ten hours. Goodness gracious, what the hell is wrong with people being so fcked up at life in general. I mean, damn, who ever says to themselves “today will be the first day of the end of my life” because they are just that committed to fcking it up royally.

Today I had the honor of witnessing a man at the convenience store have an entire conversation with himself. I couldn’t make out what he was talking about, but he was engulfed in this very animated interaction. I have to think to myself, “exactly what event occurred in his life that the end result was having random conversations with himself at the local Rite Aid?”

I pondered awhile today about some random shyt and I just wanted to share my frustration.