I have an autistic son who just turned 4 years old and he is the love of my life. Well, I have three loves of my life including my husband, my 4 year old, and my 1 year old. There are challenges to raising a child with Autism, but you learn that your love is strong and you want to protect him more from the chaos of life.
When my Autistic son was about three years old, I found out I was pregnant with my second child. It was like my first born knew that his brother was being added to our family because he was so upset at me. He would touch my stomach and have tantrums. He would push me in my stomach and be so angry at me. Although he is non-verbal, his behavior towards me changed significantly. There was so much anger towards me from my 3 year old, it made me so sad.
However, 13 months later, with the addition to our family, my Autistic son and his brother have a love-hate relationship, and it is the most hilarious thing that I have ever seen.
My Autistic son has a problem with sharing, and the baby is trying to explore his environment. Just imagine seeing a 4 year old and a 13 month old have a disagreement, and get into a physical altercation. The 13 month old baby is getting physically aggressive with my Autistic son, who is a gentle giant and rarely responds with aggression. Sometimes they have their moments when I have to intervene, but then there are times when I allow them to settle their own problems.
Recently, the four year old, who has some deficits in social norms, and his role as a big brother, has been trying to keep the 13 month old safe from…everything, since 1 year olds are little terrorists who are desperate to discover their environment. My Autistic son grabs his hand and tries to lead him to better and safer surroundings, but 1 year olds are all about learning new things and getting into trouble.
It’s safe to say that the 1 year old doesn’t give a fly shyt about being safe and is up for creating as much chaos around our home as possible, but my four year old, who has his own struggles, tries to grab his brother’s hand and lead him back to mommy and daddy… well mostly daddy.
Gosh, these kiddos worry me with their personal interactions, but sometimes you must sit back and allow them to develop their own type of relationship.
Although our baby has Autism, we treat him like any child who doesn’t have any developmental issues. We allow him to explore his relationship with his brother, and it has been a little hectic at times. But he is learning that his baby brother is a hot mess, curious, and energetic. It is so hilarious because me and the hubby ensure that our two boys are interacting with each other normally in order to build a bond between the two, but sometimes the 13 month old wants to bite and hit his older brother, who runs to me crying because he won’t dare hurt his baby brother.
I love these babies!