Failing at Anger Managment

There comes a time in our lives when we lose our ever loving mind because we have taken on too much responsibility that we can realistically bare. Let us not forget the sleep deprivation and the long days at the office.

Honescropped-images.jpgtly, I am effing exhausted! We choose our
own lives and our own paths, but that doesn’t mean that we are capable of fully negotiating the goals we have set for ourselves.

No matter how much you want something, sometimes you just ain’t gonna get it. I wish that I worked in a place similar to that of Texas. No matter the goofy, and embarrassing politics, working in Texas means a lot more than other places. I can genuinely say that I loved my work environment and made some life long friends.

However, when you’ve grown up in such an environment your entire life, moving to another state with different cultural expectations and values can leave you in a state of culture shock and sadness.

Getting on the matter at hand! Failed Anger Management? Another symptom of sleep deprivation and functioning in too many roles simultaneously is Anger. Right now, I think that I have said “I hate all human beings” at least twice a day for two months. It has become a pathological fixation on nonsense that makes me want to verbally lash out and purposely hurt someone’s feelings. Problem with that is, underneath the pathological anger shyt, there is this kind hearted person who is constantly apologetic for raving and behaving like an utter lunatic.

During my drive to work, the good days only include me screaming “fck you” at the top of my lungs when abruptly cut off by some weird looking miniature car that probably only runs on sea weed and cow shyt.

On days when I’ve only had a few hours of sleep, I become more suggestive with the middle finger. Recently, the amount of expletives dropping from my mouth have even stunned me. Where is all of this anger originating from? Your guess is as good as mine.

What I am sure of is that I feel peace at home with my babies and my awesome husband. Or shall I say my awesome fussy husband who probably fusses at me daily about things that I see as trivial. He is such a good husband and dad though that I can’t really complain. He is my rock. We are solid. But my anger outside the household is atrocious and it needs to be addressed.

If you don’t know how to treat an anger problem, these have been the most successful strategies of managing my anger:

  1. Understand that your anger should not be put on display at work: I’ve found that listening to really inappropriate music filled with expletives has a calming affect. You want to know why? Well, If I’m jamming Eminem, I can count on his lyrics to to address any insane problem I’m having that day. He raps about murder…though I don’t want to murder anyone, but at least giving me a visual from the music is entertainment. It serves as a distraction from the trivial shyt going on in my life.
  2. Ok, there really is no number two. I’ve resorted to listening to the most violent and ghetto music in order for me to at least pretend that someone knows my struggles. But really, how can a gangsta rapper know how it feels to write a dissertation proposal that has been plaguing your existence for almost two years?
  3. I try to  bombard my husband with my angry rantings and he seems to check out at some points. I guess if I were in his shoes and my wife only spoke the language of “fck that bitch, he gets on my fckn nerves, and this is my favorite…”well they can go and fck themselves with something hard and prickly”, I would rather check out too.

It has recently come to my intention that I chose a career that I hate, but that also challenges me. I love my career depending on the day. If I’m just out visiting with clients, I’m good. Most of the time I am listening to their nonsense. Other times, I’m trying to remember when my next facial, manicure, and pedicure is due.

And let me not forget to go in on these idiots who for some reason think its appropriate to complain about every fucking thing at the office. Dude, you are not there to live and give birth, you are there to work and not irritate your fcking coworkers. There are some fields that should not be so adversarial. Everyday there is a constant battle between good and evil at the job. I hate when people whispering when we all can still hear your ass BECAUSE WE ARE IN CUBICLES. And then there are the days when I hear some bull shyt that is so annoying and trivial at the same time that I just want to tell the perpetrator, “just go the fck away.”





Morbidly Obese and Still Beautiful? Bih Where?

After having a few babies, and struggling with the adversities of life, your weight may fluctuate through the years. Sometimes hitting the gym just isn’t in the cards when you have to pick of two small children after working full time, and still have to get home to do research for a dissertation. So, its safe to assume that I am a curvy woman. Thick in the areas where it counts I guess. There is nothing wrong with loving yourself no matter the size, but when I look at this video, all I see is someone who struggles to get up a flight of stairs, and who is obviously lying about her blood pressure. This heifer said that her blood pressure was at “athletic levels.” Bih stop lying! When my weight starts increasing, my blood pressure shoots through the roof and I start hearing my heart beat in my ears. No way in hell she is healthy at 400 pounds. Then this Bih said her number one goal in life is to reach 500 pounds. Well good luck with getting laid. There are some men who are turned on by morbidly obese women, but exactly what avenue the guy will take to get the cookie is beyond me. 

While the “model” gorged herself with odd combinations of food items, she stood around naked most of the video. It’s cool to love your size, but why show your naked azz for the world to see? There are plenty of big beautiful women who demonstrate their bountifulness while properly dressed. She said after high school she went straight into “online work”. Well what ever happened to attending college, or a trade school, or anything else other than eating for a living?

Now, the mother may have some untreated mental health issues here. This loser encourages her daughter to be weird and icky online. When I gain weight, my mother is the first to say, “ooh you din’ gained weight, boo boo.” No way in hell would she encourage me to gain weight, take off my clothes, and post half naked pictures on the internet. And let me say this, if my mother found me eating for money online she would beat my grown naked azz and drive me down to the nearest university to get an education.

Hand Holding Perpetrators

This isn’t a post hating on those who are deeply in love and can’t help but show public affection, but just my random thoughts about holding hands in the dumbest places. The month of love is months away, but I have noticed many couples flaunting their undying lust/love in public. I think its sweet that grown azz people hold hands and swing their little arms excitedly while doing the most mundane things.

Today, I saw a couple holding hands at the bus stop. Like really? Its damn near 100 degrees outside, but y’all locked up like its paradise. I guess that’s what love does to you sometimes. Sweating, musty, but holding hands nonetheless. Later in the day, there was a hand-holding couple leaving the local Rite Aid, and they pranced to their car full of children like it was Christmas. They apparently went in the store for some feminine products, and were in love…while picking out the cheapest brand of tampons? I don’t know. I guess its sweet, but do we have to be subjected to the happy prancing couples holding hands while ordering food at McDonald’s, or getting their oil changed at Jiffy Lube? My favorite…couples holding hands at the local food stamp office. If I were applying for food stamps, I wouldn’t be holding anyone’s hand, I would be pissed the hell off from being hungry.

I Gives Zero Effs About Your Shyt…Blog Trolls Gonna Learn…


Let me sip this tea right quick…

As an avid blogger I am aware that my views and experiences may cause others to take offense or…get their panties in a bunchy roll up the crack of their azz. But however much I offend you, you can always just tear your eyes away from my blog and seek out another more soul fulfilling blog that generates that euphoric feeling you’re desperately searching for. Nothing on my blog will ever be about fairies and unicorns, this is all me and my life experiences, so if you don’t like it, then tear your stank azz and move the hell on. I am a grown azz woman, I don’t need anyone trying to shame me for what is on my mind. If I had a bad day with someone, say…a person with Borderline Personality Disorder, then I’m gonna blog exactly how i feel and what my experiences were with that person. I am not making this shyt up. So if you don’t like it…you know what the hell to do. WordPress got a million and one blogs dedicated to making you feel all mushy inside, but my blog is not the one…cuz at the end of the day, I’m not getting paid not one red cent for this shyt here.

I’m always up for a good debate, but don’t try to check a sistah because you think you know better. I am an expert on my mother effing life, meaning I don’t need you are anyone else trying to correct my shyt. Blogging is MY outlet as a doctorate student, wife, mother, and professional woman. So excuse me if I don’t take everyone’s feelings into account when I’m ranting about my day, or my past, or anything in my mother effing universe. I am all for having a conversation about sensitive topics, but come at me correct and don’t think you will have the last word on my effing blog because best believe it won’t happen. I will go straight critical on your azz in a second. Move the hell on and do you while I continue one of the few outlets I have as a very busy person. Goodness. You swear I was infringing on people’s rights to be crazy the way these people with BPD coming at me. But hell, keep em coming because I gives zero effs about naything you talking ’bout. REAL TALK!!!

Borderlines are the Antichrist


Time to serve some tea…

Since living in California, I have run across some of the weirdest folks on the planet. Let me just say this…the weird ones are the most honest and genuine. It’s the posers that I have to look out for these days. The fakes, the inauthentic, the personality crooks are the ones destroying the world around us. I love when someone can just come out and say exactly what they are thinking without feeding me a plate of bullshit. Let me know the real you is all I’m saying, and from there I can assess whether you qualify as a friend or foe.

I go on this rant because I experienced a situation years ago when a close friend turned out to be a common psychopath with Borderline Personality disorder. Although I come across these types of folks working in my particular field often, I’ve never met someone who was an identical twin to the chick in the movie “Gone Girl” until this chick walked her massive ass into my university. For all of you who aren’t hip to the mental health lingo, a person with borderline personality disorder is very sophisticated in manipulation and are experts in drawing in potential victims under the guise of friendship. The first few encounters are euphoric, as you dare to release your most inner thoughts to this new pleasant and loyal friend. Those with BPD will use your weakness against you just to fulfill whatever goal thats been stiring in their warped brain.

So as I was saying about this borderline bitch who victimized me to a point where people who I had known and loved were turning their backs on me because this sophisticated little borderline was such a cunning genius. I thought I had found a life long friend, but in the end, the people I cared about would spit on my grave on account of this tawdry little hoe-bag. She was able to infiltrate my inner circle, plant the seeds of destruction, and sit back while I simmered in misery. She fooled everyone. But the thing about borderlines, people always see the big picture in the end. After your relationships have been fragmented and you are defeated by the exhaustion of defending yourself, people start to see what you were fighting all along. As soon as you let your guard down, the Borderline bitch, guts you for all you’ve got for purposes of making herself feel better. Borderlines often try to make themselves out to be victims. They elicit sympathy from unsuspecting bystanders by drawing people in with their attractive personality. As long as the borderline perceives you as an alley in their emotional trainwreacked-universe, you will remain in their good graces. You will be shielded from their utter destruction until next time. But if you try to establish yourself as a prominent individual, their anxiety is heightened, and self-preservation as the queen or king bee is kick started.

Self-preservation for a borderline is much more intense than regular folk. Borderlines intentionally establish themselves with a specific profile that serves as their personal signature or persona to draw in unsuspecting victims to fulfill their positive self-esteem quota. If you’ve ever interacted with a borderline, you are aware that they have very low self-esteem and often turn to drugs, eating disorders, or promiscuity to fill a dark empty hole that is their soul.

In my borderline’s case…it was an eating disorder…meaning her big ol’ ass was unable to say no to warm donuts at 2 AM. No matter how many friends she held hostage with her captivating personality, she was always in “destruction mode” when an individual wanted to exercise their right to be a unique individual.

Sex In Public


There are many venues for having sex, but I don’t think a public park is the most romantic setting to get your rocks off. I recently saw a video that showed a little sexual transaction being made on the side of a damn tree. Whomever recorded the video were literally right in back of the entrepreneur and her customer as they swiftly made sweet passionate lust against nature. Hope she didn’t get any insect bites. The customer couldn’t really get into his deed because he was too busy looking out for…the public. At least they attempted to be discreet since they both kept their clothes on. However, at the end, she threw up her dress showing her naked azz while pulling up her thong. The end of the encounter was quite strange because it seemed that he wanted more after paying her a fee. Like dude, she got her money, what do you want…a relationship?

Exactly what is wrong with people these days? Don’t they know it would be just a little more appropriate to have sex in the back of a parked car, or even in a back alley? If both of you are too broke for a motel room, you don’t deserve sex. As people say, you have to spend money to make money.

This video reminded me of that episode of Sex in the City, in which Miranda met a guy who was only interested in having sex if there was a chance of getting caught. Not that this example was similar to the tree-sex people in any way, it just popped in my head.

CLICK HERE for link to the video…

Work Place Tattling: Snitches At Work

tattling coworkers

Have you guys ever wondered why grown-azz people think it’s cute to snitch on their co-workers? I work in a field where our schedules are chaotic and there is no set time for us to be in our offices/cubicles, so I think it a little silly for people to “tattle” when I arrive to the office at certain times. I could be visiting with clients, I could have had a flat tire, or I could be flexing. No matter the reason, why in the hell are co-workers so interested in other people’s business?

Lets consider the moral argument of “tattling-azz folks” reporting ish. People have families, responsibilities, and student effing loans, why do you think it is your duty to try and sabotage someone’s career by tattling about someone being late to the office. Why are you all in my damn business in the first place? Don’t you have shyt to do? Aren’t we all grown here?

I find that I have been ranting quite often lately regarding the social idiosyncrasies of my fellow co-workers, but I’m thinking there are cultural implications to work place tattling. When I worked in the south, there was more of a community-oriented workplace where most co-workers genuinely wanted the next person to succeed. Co-workers were considered family because of the type of work we did and our daily interactions. So there is definitely a difference from working in the south and working in the North West. Everyone here is about individualism and a family-oriented work environment isn’t the norm. People come to work and they go home. In the south, you go to work, and you may take your unit members back to your house for drinks and lively banter. So of course I have a little culture shock when people make it their life’s mission to tattle about shyt that is not their business.

When I go to the work place, I feel that not only should I get some work done, I should interact with my co-workers in a positive manner in order to facilitate a pleasant working environment. Nothing pleasant comes out of tattling about someone’s work schedule. Like why are you so effing mad that you have to complain about someone elses shyt? Get an effing life and stop making others suffer because you are unhappy and miserable.

That is all…

Humans Are Full Of Shyt


I learn valuable lessons on a daily basis regarding those around me, and I have concluded that humans are full of shyt and can kiss my ever loving azz. From the time I step into the office, till the time I am grabbing my shyt to get out of that place, it seems that the entire world is full of chaos for those eight to ten hours. Goodness gracious, what the hell is wrong with people being so fcked up at life in general. I mean, damn, who ever says to themselves “today will be the first day of the end of my life” because they are just that committed to fcking it up royally.

Today I had the honor of witnessing a man at the convenience store have an entire conversation with himself. I couldn’t make out what he was talking about, but he was engulfed in this very animated interaction. I have to think to myself, “exactly what event occurred in his life that the end result was having random conversations with himself at the local Rite Aid?”

I pondered awhile today about some random shyt and I just wanted to share my frustration.

Don’t Worry, She Probably On That Meth!

MoonroadWhen you are driving down the road and are suddenly cut off by some raving lunatic, don’t fret or cause your blood pressure to rise, just tell yourself its okay because that person had a little too much meth that day. I don’t think people in the larger population are aware of the epidemic that is Meth, but beware, a Meth head is just around the darn corner. It’s taking over small towns across the United States, and the addiction sees no color or age, it is an equal opportunity offender.

Usually when I’m speaking with a meth addict, I can’t stop looking at their teeth because they are either non-existent or jacked up beyond repair. This entry is not written to shame anyone struggling in their addiction to meth, this is just my frustration of having to deal with the utter nonsense of meth addiction on a daily basis.

I can’t discriminate too much and not forget the medical marijuana and prescription drugs that are plaguing our streets. Any doctor looking to make an extra buck is ready and willing to prescribe the strongest narcotics on the market for a simple azz ache. The so-called patients hop from doctor to doctor getting prescriptions for Xanax and then sells the pills on the street. Some people have stopped using meth because they can legally substitute the addiction with pain meds. Every addict I’ve spoken to has a severe back problem. There is no need for you to put on a fake limp and groan with every step, I’m not the one approving your disability benefits so the acting really isn’t necessary.

And another thing…I am getting so tired of being yelled at because you can’t put down the damn pipe. Sometimes when I drag myself out of bed, I actually think my day will start and end on a positive note. Well, this entire week has started out shitty, and will likely end shitty. But wait…I do still have two more days til the weekend…but I’m not expecting anything to change.

Angie Stone crushes Britney Spears


Who wore it better? Angie or Britney…lmmfao

Professionals Should Know Better


If you work in a professional building,  the janitorial staff shouldn’t have to tell you not to be nasty. They know they wrong for those graphics tho lmao…

Sharing Shyt on the Internet


I just think people shouldn’t share everything on the internet. Found this today on Pinterest and was speechless. I guess info graphs are helpful but I was eating when I came across this shytfograph…lmao.

Is Kylie Jenner a Treasure Troll?

Yes, I’m hating and I know it, but come on…Green hair and brown suede in the summer time. Kick rocks Kylie!


On that Rita for the 4th of July


Happy 4th of July. I’m getting toasty, how about you?

Happy Ratchet 4th of July


Welp, no words are needed here. She letting us know that she the baddest bytch to wear turquoise.  Lmao

Bitch Better Have My Money…A Mommy’s Reaction

Thought I was watching a typical video until I unconsciously said, “awww shyt” out loud while bumping my newborn to sleep. I think my mouth hit the floor the first time they showed the poor lady tits hanging out while tied up in the back of Rihanna’s brand new foreign car. How disrespectful it is to strip someone naked and let them hang from the ceiling of a damn barn like a farm animal’s carcass. Damn!

Am I the only one loving the fact that her mates in this video look just as deranged as she does. The part of the video when the wife tries to call out for help and the awesomely deranged mate nonchalantly hits her upside the head with a beer bottle…was fckn everything. I’m fckn in love with this damn video.

Facebook Posts Have Struck Again: Nicki Minaj and Bill Cosby?

Nicki minaj

I just can’t stop laughing. These people on Facebook are some of the most creative peeps on the planet. Never in a million years would I have thought to combine these two in the same pic. LMMFAO…

What happened to Kim Kardasian’s Azz


As usual my savvy Facebook friends share some of the most bizarre realities, and now I’m sharing them with you. This photo features Serena Williams with a natural azz, and Kim Kardashian with some type of monstrosity or tumor hanging from hers…lmao

Gay Rights…The Tea With Opinionated Mommy!


I didn’t have a personal stake in the decision for gay rights today, but I want to say congrats to all who are impacted by this decision. I’m from the south so I know many people who are enraged at this point. It’s hilarious to see these Facebook posts. When I started seeing comments that included Sodom and Gomorrah I politely exited Facebook and went about my day. It’s not the end of the world people, get over it.

I’m no Gay person or advocate, but what someone does in their bedroom has absolutely nothing to do with me and my family. People should be able to live their lives without judgement from me, who is far from perfect. I am a Christian and my heart tells me to leave this matter to God because I am a sinner like the next man. We can sit here and argue about what the bible says till the cows come home, we live in a nation where there is supposed to be a separation of church and state, so there was absolutely no legal basis for denying any entire group of people the right of marriage.

Now lets get to the responses from the Conservatives because you know they are about to come up with the most ignorant azz shyt you will ever see and hear on this matter.

I laughed from a very healthy place when I heard this nonsense. Ted Cruz actually said “Today is the Darkest 24 Hours in our nations history.” Well, I’m pretty sure I can come up with a few examples that could be considered worst than granting healthcare to Americans, and allowing gay people to marry each other. It was a pretty dark day when some racist idiot murdered nine people while they were having bible study. So excuse me Mr. Cruz if I can’t co-sign your bull shyt like Hannity did throughout this interview of you whining like a little bytch. I’m waiting for the responses from Bill Oreilly and the rest of the conservative horde to give their biases/hateful opinion about the SCOTUS decision. Maybe Fox News will leave the United States and relocate to Canada. Let them deal with all the hateful shyt spread by this crap network.

The Tea With Opinionated Mommy: Why Won’t Rachel Dolezal Just Go Away?


The Tea Is Served: The media and everyone from celebrities to so-and-so’s baby daddy has had an opinion regarding Rachel Dolezal’s ethnic identity. She has made her rounds to the news outlets, accept Fox, and we are now more confused than we were when she was first confronted by that rude azz reporter demanding to know her race.

We have not learned a darn thing about Rachel accept that she continues to live in her own dimension and even being confronted with reality has not changed her mind about being black. Now that we know that she will continue to identify as Black, can we move the hell on and get a damn pedicure already. I don’t understand why people continue their outrage and surprise. This woman obviously has some issues. Her parents also have their own issues with their biological son standing trial for allegedly being a damn child molester.

I just want us to move on and let this woman live. Yes I agree that she is a pathological liar and nothing she says is credible, but at the end of the day she isn’t hurting any of us. More commentary or “breaking news segments” aren’t necessary at this damn time geesh…

What did you learn about the Rachel Dolezal Scandal?



The Tea With Opinionated Mommy: Facebook Timeline Confessions


imagesThe Tea Is Served: I am getting so sick and tired of people posting all of their personal shyt on Facebook Timeliness. Checking my timeline is like taking a long dark journey through the most deranged thoughts and confessions of the mentally ill. There are posts about getting azz, washing azz, and eating azz on my timeline. To think that I have so many FB friends who are experiencing such adversity…and have the nerve to share this garbage with the world.

Ok…let me stop lying, checking my Facebook timeline is sometimes the most entertaining part of my day, as people have no filter when they are behind their computers and mobile devices. And for some reason, people are getting into Facebook Wars and want to share just how pissed off they are at a friend or relative. My favorite are the passive-aggressive posts in which the pissed off person avoids using a friend’s name, but that friend is fully aware who that post is directed towards. Peep this recent post:

“If any motherf**kers have a problem with me come and see me instead of doing all that bumpin’. I ain’t the one bit*h. If you feel like I’m talking to you than you a guilty motherf#$ker.”

Just let me say this, these people who are having Facebook wars and confessions, are still friends with their families and coworkers. It’s safe to assume that they are also getting these horrific posts in their timelines as well. Do better people!

The Most Ridiculous Confessions on Facebook




Rachel Dolezal Pretended to Be Black


This topic is perplexing as I have never met one white person who has lived their lives pretending to be Black. I have met white people who assimilated themselves into Black culture due to environmental factors such as residing in a predominantly Black area, but never to the extent as Rachel Dolezal. I have read many comments on #Blacktwitter and I have to say that my response was more of pitty than anger.

Rachel Dolezal may have some identity issues, and she may be mentally ill, but nothing is sadder than your own parents exposing you on national television. I understand that they may feel hurt that she has identified a black man as her real father when both of her parents are white, but dang, they have sparked a nation-wide debate involving their own daughter. My question here is, what happened between Rachel and her parents for her to abandon the identity of her own family? Not only will her story be investigated, so will the parent’s story. What occurred in their family that instigated the identity change?

Yes, there is some backlash on #blacktwitter calling for Rachel to lose her position as the president of the NAACP. Despite what people may think, the NAACP allows persons who are not Black to serve as president, the problem is she misrepresented herself . Usually when politicians gain office under false pretenses, the public demands that the person resign. At this time, Rachel’s position as the president of her local NAACP continues; however, she may have alienated those who voted her in as president. I personally want to know more about her journey in changing her racial identity and what part does her parents play in this situation?

Now as for people calling this #transcolor and #transracial and comparing this situation to Bruce Jenner’s transition, you can kiss my ever loving behind.

The Prancing Elites Project: Episode 4 and Kentrell’s Protruding Gut

prancing elite two

Surprisingly I have fell in love with Oxygen’s Prancing Elites Project and can’t stop watching these males dancing their little hearts out in sequined leotards and flesh toned tights. When the promo commercials were airing I was like, this is gonna be so damn entertaining. My husband, on the other hand, just shook his head and turned away from the television. Most straight men aren’t fans of the show, but so what, that’s their problem.

If you haven’t tuned in, the show follows a dance team of men who perform in women’s uniforms and costumes . Their dancing style is similar to that of female African American dance teams that perform at the university level. The team struggles to book gigs and is often faced with criticism and disdain. Some of the earlier episodes document the constant rejection from parades and events that female dance teams are historically dominant. However, the show isn’t all about the struggles of gay men in leotards trying to be accepted in society. The amusing and flamboyant personalities of each team member elevates the show to an entertaining commodity.

Kentrell’s Protruding Gut

Moving on…Episode 4 thankfully discussed an issue I have been having since the show aired. Kentrell Prancing elite 4has this firm and intimidating stomach that protrudes through all of his leotards. I used to be on a drill team in high school and when purchasing our costumes and uniforms, we had to take into account the weight and shape of each girl. Well, the Prancing Elites keep wearing these skimpy azz uniforms that are quite damaging to Kentrell’s appearance. During their performances I am consistently distracted by his elephantine girth. When episode 4 aired I was relieved that the team members had the courage to speak with him about his protruding gut because this fan was like DAMN!

Dancing Elites on Oxygen

Piece of Burger from Burger King

Courtney Barnes

The viral video of the moment is our very own green haired Avatar-looking fellow who has made the quote “peace of burger from Burger King” #pob, a popular hashtag on Facebook and other social media outlets. My first response was, what the hell? and oh my lawd!

Courtney Barnes is seen giving his account of a police involved car accident and decided that he would deliver a rather flamboyant rendition that has captivated the public. In addition to his ambitious performance, he wore neon green weave harnessed through a baseball cap and a drawn uni-brow outlined in gold eyeliner. Let me repeat that…”…and a uni-brow outlined in gold eyeliner.” LMAO!

Yes he is a character and this performance seemed rehearsed, but maybe he is just a natural born performer. Courtney has been a contestant on So You Thing You Can Dance. Maybe show business is in his future; but for now he is a viral phenomenon and unofficial spokesperson for Burger King (lol).

Honestly, I have laughed so hard at Courtney Barnes til tears were dripping down my face. The absolute best quotes from home-chick’s outrageous interview:

  • “…I was actually going to buy me a piece of hamburger from Burger King. and I just stopped right in the middle because my hunger just went away.”
  • “…and the police car just a twisted around like a tornado girl!”
  • “…this police officer just don’t know if he’s gonna make or if he’s gonna tap out.” (While mouth hangs open an awkward amount of time)
  • “…Lawd be with this young man…he need a blessing.”

Fifty Shades of Grey streaming on Amazon

Photo by Ian Gavan

Photo by Ian Gavan

The riveting and sexually explicit film, Fifty Shades of Grey, has made its streaming Amazon debut and is currently available to all the skeptical movie critics who refused to purchase a ticket at the box office.

The initial reviews of the movie were mixed among professional critics and general movie watchers. The critics aggressively attacked the film for a lack of chemistry between the main characters, while regular folk, mainly women, were relatively satisfied with the production.

I was one of those skeptical critics who decided to wait for the streaming version, assuming that the movie was just a tawdry visual replication of the ghastly written novel. If fans of the film are completely honest with themselves, Fifty Shades of Grey is an assemblage of mediocre actors who appear naked in compromising positions without the presence of a significant story line. The directors of the film were heavily dependent on the steamy sex scenes without properly formulating character dynamics. Sex sells, but the lack of a credible story line to fill the void where substance should have parlayed has been detrimental to the credibility of this film.

The characters were flawed individuals who undoubtedly could have used a bit of therapy to sort through their pervasive neuroses. Christian Grey is the most qualified candidate for intense therapeutic intervention, as his character experienced sexual abuse as a minor, and subsequently continued a relationship with his abuser as an adult. He has an inability to engage in healthy relationships, choosing to hang consenting women from the raptors of his million-dollar penthouse in nothing but bare skin and fury handcuffs.

Anastasia Steele may not have suffered childhood abuse, but she definitely struggled with her own ubiquitous distress. She is a twenty-something student who commits to engaging in an erotic relationship with an emotionally handicapped man, and complains when her expectations of a loving relationship are not brought to fruition.

The overall production of the film was quite disappointing and not worth the few dollars it cost on Amazon. We all love sex scenes, but we also enjoy feeling connected to the character and the story. But what did we expect from the movie when the book was so atrociously written?

Health Professionals Shame Women Into Breastfeeding


breastfeeding-cartoon-I’ve recently learned for myself that health professionals attempt to shame women into breastfeeding immediately after the infant is born into this world. It’s been a month since having my second child and I was plagued with guilt over my decision to formula feed my baby just once in the hospital.

After a long night of breastfeeding and attending to a screaming infant, I decided that I would give myself a break and allow my mother to formula feed my infant while I got some much needed slumber. That extra help was a God send…that was until my doctor visited me the next morning. She took one look at the empty formula bottle and questioned why I fed my child formula instead of breastfeeding. Now if I wasn’t in a good mood I would have stated, “that’s my damn business ” and left it at that; however, I felt ashamed under her judgement of me as a mother for not sticking it out throughout the night. I planned on breast feeding for at least the first couple of months, but just that one slip up in the hospital made me feel like a damn failure. Yes, using the word failure when addressing breast feeding may seem to be an overreaction, but that was how I felt due to the hormones and lack of sleep. Now that I feel stronger and sane, I would like to send a shout out to all those health professionals who assault mothers with that judgmental glare and screw you with a long spiked stick.

There are some women who choose not to breast feed and it is their prerogative to make that decision. I know first hand that breast feeding isn’t the beautiful process that some lactation specialists would like you to believe. My nipples feel like burnt tire rubber after my newborn chomps down. As I type now my nipples are throbbing in pain from the devouring of milk every hour and a half. Its hard being a mother, the last thing we need is judgment.

Khloe Kardashian Receives Internet Backlash for Niqab Selfie


Well, well, well. We can’t go one measly day without a Kartrashian…I mean a Kardashian scandal. This latest so-called “scandal” involves a photo of Khloe Kardashian wearing a niqab. Although I’m not the biggest fan of the family, people really need to get a clue. There have been so many celebrities who have taken random photos of themselves wearing this cultural garb from Madonna to Beyonce.

khloe-kardashian-26th-annual-kids-choice-awards-01Let me take this time to complain about the massive media storm of Kardashian stories being shoved down our throats on a daily cycle. Since being on maternity leave, it has come to my attention that these people take too many selfies and the media just eats the shyte up like Skittles. I’m thinking people hate this family more because they can’t get a damn break from the random and unimportant reports. Did we really need to make a scandal out of this selfie which was probably only taken to get a response from the media and evil bloggers such as myself. Why can’t the Kardashians just go away?

Romney for President 2016

Mitt Romney

I support Mitt Romney’s run for President in 2016! Why? Remember the circus that was the presidential election in 2012? This was probably the most entertaining election of all time. Romney’s gaffs rivaled those of our legendary Vice President Biden’s in every way. With the collaboration of Fox News and Romney’s “corn dog” politics, I am sure that the next election will go down in history as the biggest clown circus on the planet.

I Don’t Like Mens Anymore

“I don’t like mens no more.”

“I will love a women.”

I’m all for people changing their lives on their own terms, but I just don’t think this was truly a good decision. He not even comfortable using the word women and dating in the same sentence hence the incorrect usage. What straight man you know has to say women five damn times to prove his love of the opposite sex? And I know there are some gay people out there a little pissed that he generalized gay men as wearing purses and makeup. WTH? Did you notice that he started speaking as if he were possessed when talking about “mens“?

Life is a damn circus yall!

Breastfeeding Your Pets


I ran across this nonsense on Facebook and was immediately disgusted with the image of a woman breastfeeding a dog. I am an advocate for breastfeeding, and even breastfeeding in public, but feeding a pup from your own tit is just a little too much. Please don’t tell me you guys agree with this. I was more disturbed that those who commented on the video thought this was acceptable.

Common Responses:

“A mother nurturing a baby. We humans drink milk from animals. Whats the difference here?”

“If y’all think that’s weird what about us drinking cow or & goats milk but that puppy is sucking the shit out off breast though…”

“For all we know, this is a dumped new born pup. Perhaps this was the only way to feed the pup? Besides…we drink cows milk. But I suppose that is ok? And, yes, she could have expressed into a bowl, but a young pup like this may not have been able to drink from a bowl. Perhaps she could have used an eyedropper. It’s hardly THAT offensive though guys. Look around.”

Homeless But Balling Out in Brand New Car!

As someone who believes in giving to the less fortunate, I accept the fact that my money may not be spent on food. Sometimes you give and say that you’ve done your part and let it go. Well, the humble giver in the video above was just fed the hell up with being scammed on a daily basis by a woman who was “balling out of control” in her 2014 ride.

There are mixed opinions about this video. Some think the guy shouldn’t have confronted the old lady, while others were highly offended that her ass was scamming people. Personally, I wouldn’t have approached the lady, but I do understand his frustration. You have people working their asses off everyday while “home-chick” sits outside with a damn sign having money just handed to her.

It’s also important for people to know that many of these homeless folks have government assistance including food stamps. So although they are asking for food, they might have a ‘frige packed with food while you chilling at the house with Ramen Noodles.

Sometimes it is better to donate to organized charities than people on the street because at least you have an idea of what cause you are supporting.

“Why did you shoot me?”

Why did you shoot me?

It seems that after many of these shootings that involve a white cop and a black person, there are those who are ready to justify the actions of the cop. Well, just from looking at this video, exactly how can you rationalize the officer’s actions?

This person was stopped for a seat-belt violation as he pulled into a gas station. If you can tell, the dude wasn’t aware that the police was following him until he was asked for his driver’s license. Now when complying with the officer, he quickly reached into his vehicle for the requested item, to be shot four times when he returned, with his wallet in his hand.

Are you still wondering whether this shooting was justified? What about after the victim was shot two more times while his hands were up with his wallet in his hand? Can that at least be factored in to your justification for this man being shot…in broad day light?

I understand that plight of police officers. My mother was a police officer for twenty years and I was scared for her everyday that she walked on shift. However, there has to be some sort of training provided for these officers who are scary as shit every time a person tries to quickly comply with a request.

Popular Idiotic Justifications

1. He shouldn’t have dove into his car: well, since he anxiously reached into his car to comply with the officers demand, he deserves to be shot four times? (eye roll)

2. Well all officers know that black men commit most violent crimes: the problem here is…he was stopped for a seat-belt violation as he pulled in to a gas station. So, does this justify being shot four times? Furthermore, just because there are black criminals, you can’t possibly criminalize an entire population of people. Only idiots say shit like this!

3. Cops must protect themselves: From seat-belt bandits? I understand that this is a hard profession, but officers should also understand how to properly assess a situation. There must be some accountability on the officer’s part. We need smarter officers!

4. The officer felt threatened: This also goes to the officer’s ability to think critically in these situations. If he is pulling this man over for a seat-belt violation at a packed gas station, maybe he isn’t about to rob the place, maybe he is about to…purchase gas (who knew). Any how, you don’t shoot first and say you’re scared later.

I want to know your honest opinions regarding this situation! Would you have shot this person twice more after he put his arms up, with his wallet in the air?

Fox News Blames Obama for Ray Rice Elevator Assault

Oh please! Get a clue!

Oh please! Get a clue!


When considering the credibility of Fox News, not much really shocks you. After the complete Ray Rice elevator footage was released, this idiotic host, Andrea Tantaros, wanted to know why Obama didn’t stand up and make a statement.

“I wanna know, where is the President on this one?” and “Why doesn’t he lead?”

You want to know where he is? He’s updating his wardrobe so his suit colors won’t start another conflict with ISIS or conservative republicans with nothing else better to complain about.

Ray Rice was released from the Ravens today when the footage was released. I sincerely believed they should have fired him when the incident occurred instead of suspending him for two weeks.  The footage is quite disturbing. This man should be in jail.


Offensive Wedding March

I am the last person to easily get offended at nonsense, but I do believe at your wedding you must take into account that there will be children present. Your guests also expect that the bride won’t “drop it like it’s hot” while walking elegantly towards her husband to-be.

I enjoy those cute wedding marches where the bridesmaids and groomsmen are appropriately dancing down the aisle with glee. But yall, this woman’s wedding song has some explicit words plus the stripper moves to match.

Circus Act of the Day


Nicki Minaj Bounces Ellen Degeneres Rump in Anaconda

You gotta love Ellen. Twirk that azz Ellen. Twirk!

 Twirk that azz Ellen. Twirk!

Nicki Minaj Bounces Ellen Degeneres Rump in Anaconda Video

My Facebook friends are so awesome! They are always posting the silliest photos and videos that I use here in my personal circus. If you haven’t seen Nicki Minaj’s Anaconda video, check it out in a few posts below.  Those of you who have seen it know that this point in the video is when Nicki is slapping a dancer on her extremely voluptuous ass. That look on Ellen’s face is priceless.

Ellen’s Ass Pads

Ellen, of course being her genuinely funny self, photo shopped herself in this part of the video and it made me choke on my 5 hour energy shot. Y’all, can you imagine Ellen twerking her ass? Not in a million years. But here she is in all of her glory with the booty shorts, and maybe some ass pads tucked in there.

You Just Got To Love Ellen

Although I have no time to tune into her talk show, I love how she highlights the talents of normal people who would have never been asked to be on television. There are just so many great people in the United States and she recognizes that not all are able to have such a nation wide platform. What I have learned from Ellen’s personality is the fact that she can laugh and have fun at our circus acts, and make us smile when our days may not be going as great as we want them to. Go Ellen!

Pretty Little Liars: A Never Ending Addiction


Pretty Little Liars

I’m ashamed to admit that since I have discovered Pretty Little Liars on Netflix, I haven’t been able to binge-watch any other series. I binge watch whatever series has more than one season, which ultimately means there is some substance to the show. After watching the first episode, there was no way I could not stay around to figure out who the hell was the villain “A”.

The show surrounds four teenage girls who are all facing some sort of adversity in their lives after their “friend” disappears, and is later found to be dead. Let me first start off by saying that I didn’t understand the girls’ obsession with finding Allison’s killer, because if I’m honest, Allison was a total bitch who was black mailing half of the town. She was mean to her best friends, and even referred to Hannah as “Hefty Hannah.

These four girls, Hannah, Emily, Aria, and Spencer found themselves distancing after the death of bitchy Allison, because ultimately she held the crew together. However; after a long summer break, and Aria returning from a hiatus in Europe, the girls were reconnected as they bonded over investigating the murder of their…friend.

Let me first state that if you are a fan of fashion, this is the show for you. These teenage girls are wearing thousand dollar boots and flaunting the best outfits I could never afford in high school. It was very obvious that the girls were from privileged families with parents who had very high expectations for their futures. Nothing wrong with that! They live in a very small town, and we all know that small towns have minions who play their roles very well.



My favorite, but most annoying character is Spencer. She is the genius who has a pattern for flirting with her sister’s boyfriends. It never failed, she persistently had an attraction to these men, even though they were considerably older and she was only in high school. Spencer’s history with Allison wasn’t all hugs and kisses, as this blonde little evil tramp habitually blackmailed Spencer about her affairs. Please be reminded that these girls were supposed best friends since middle school.

Spencer was constantly in the middle of everyone’s business. She was a genius and very competitive teenage girl affluent in figuring out conspiracy theories. This chick was relentless. Spencer’s mind is always racing with theories of who murdered her frenemy, even accusing her own relatives for answers. At first she blamed Ian, her brother-in-law, and for a time she thought her own sister was involved in the “A” conspiracy. At the end of the day, Spencer will sell her own family down the river to prove her theories correct. Scary friend to have if you ask me.

In the real world, if my sister murdered a girl that everyone hated, and the police had no suspects, I wouldn’t say a damn word. I’m sorry, but this bitch treated me like shit and then I’m supposed to feel sorry for her after she is wacked? Whatever!



This bitch is the ultimate follower in this little coven of teenagers with nothing better to do but chase conspiracy theories about a bitch who would have sold them into white slavery for a Coke with her name plastered on the front.

Aria is significant because she returned from Europe, went to eat at a bar (yeah, unrealistic for a 16 year old), and ran into Ezra Fitz, a twenty-something high school teacher. Turns out, Ezra becomes Aria’s English teacher at the beginning of the school year. The couple attempted to stay away from each other but were unable because of raging horniness. Only the coven of liars were privy to their relationship throughout the entire first and second season. Oh, well, “A” was privy to her little secret, and often used it against Aria for purposes of blackmail (yes that word again). Their relationship didn’t start to become a dramatic theme until the romance was gone, and Ezra was out of a job for technically being a child molester.

Of all the girls, Aria was the most fashionable. Her father worked as a college professor at Hollice University, and her mother worked at an art gallery for a time; but she ultimately started working at Aria’s school.This was a huge problem because Ezra was screwing her daughter at his apartment almost everyday after school.

The second portion of Aria’s story also included knowing that her father was involved in an extramarital affair before their trip to Europe. Aria confronted her father about the affair and they both made a pact not to tell her mother. This was a disloyal move in my book because I would have sang this news to my mother like a nesting mocking bird. Dads are awesome, but there is just something about a mother’s love. Eventually, A decided to let the cat out of the bag by sending Aria’s mother a letter with the truth. Yeah, “A” was pretty much a pain in EVERYONE’s ass.




The gay character who was outed by “A”. When she started a relationship with the character Maya, she was happy and didn’t care who knew of her carpet munching tactics. When her parents found out, they were furious, but like loving parents, they got over it real quick.

Emily was a little annoying because she chose a relationship with the masculine looking girl who tried to drown her, I might add. You can’t tell me there aren’t other gay girls in high school without anger issues she could have chose. In fact, Emily is the prettiest character on the series.

I found her story line a little sad and boring. She was almost murdered by a psycho dude posing as Maya’s cousin, who tried to stab her while they struggled at the top of a light house. “A”was a bitch to her, but really, I can’t remember what happened in the first seasons because her story line was boring me to pulp. (eye roll)

The girls started receiving text messages from “A”, who was torturing the girls through blackmail. These suburban girls had so many damn secrets throughout the show I caught myself rolling my eyes and asking myself “why in the hell am I watching this?” But of course, I thought after they uncovered the identity of “A”, there would be another story line that wouldn’t make me cringe.




What can I say about Hannah? She was ultimately the cause of all of this bull shit because of her previous social status in school. Before Allison recruited the then “Hefty Hannah”, she and Mona were best friends. However, Hannah desired to be in the it-crowd, so she accepted Allison’s invitation and became a permanent fixture in their group. Unfortunately, Mona wasn’t chosen to be in their little secret society. Throughout the seasons, Hannah dissed Mona on many occasions so she could hang out with her new crowd. I never would have guessed that “A” would have been someone so close, and so affectionate to Hannah.

There were many significant occurrences in Hannah’s story line. Her mother ripped off an old lady in order to support their fancy lifestyle. “A” found out about the money and made their lives a living hell.  Hannah fell in love with a homeless boy who was initially working for “A”. The coven found out that another female on their block was also doing a little manipulating and other eye-rolling moments. We will get to that evil bitch later.

Hannah had a motive to want Allison dead like her other close friends, but she immersed herself in Spencer’s obsession in finding justice as they all did. The accusations and dwelling through people’s personal shit was getting a bit repetitive each episode and yet I continued to watch, waiting to find out who was “A”.




This Mona chick was “A” all along. She played the air head wanna-be popular character, but in actuality, her intelligence rivaled even Spencer’s. I had brief thoughts that it could be Mona in the first place, but I just thought she was too close to Hannah to inflict such torture onto her and her friends. Yep, Mona suffered a psychological break down and attempted to kill Spencer in the woods during a masquerade ball.

Mona was sent to the insane asylum where Hannah, with her retarded ass, decided that it was her duty to visit her ex-best friend for support. The first few visits Mona looked right through Mona as if she weren’t in the room. But after every visit, Mona miraculously improved.

I’m not going through the entire story, but Mona wasn’t crazy, she was just evil and wanted revenge for being left out of the popular group at school. Can you say…shallow as hell? Anyway, now she has been released from the insane asylum and has vowed her loyalty to Hannah and her friends. People are actually buying the innocent routine, but the main characters are aware that she is still full of shit and out for revenge. I am still in the process of watching the series. It is so damn addictive.



Let me quick about this evil bitch! When her character was introduced, she was blind and required a walking cane. Don’t judge me yet because you will hate her too if you start to watch this series.Jenna had every reason to want revenge by making the coven’s lives hell. The four girls in the group through a fire cracker in Jenna’s garage and blinded her because the house caught on fire. Ever since that night, she has been plotting and planning by using other characters to do her bidding. She used Hannah’s boyfriend Kaleb to spy on her because Allison hid a video showing that Jenna and her step-brother Tobi were having an inappropriate relationship. Well, I wouldn’t call it just inappropriate because she blackmailed Tobi into having sex with her. Jenna said that she would tell their parents that Tobi forced himself onto her if he didn’t lay down the pipe. Another eye roll!

Check out the series because I would be writing for hours trying to explain this sick bitch tactics. Eventually, she had eye surgery and was able to see again, but she lied about it for three months. It was utterly ridiculous and I wanted to just claw her eyes out at that point. Like, really, why haven’t they killed you off already?

I’m Addicted and I Hate It

Y’all there is so much bullshit that goes on in this series there is no way to address it in one post. I haven’t even seen all the seasons. I must say this, even though “A” was identified, it was just revealed that there is another gives Mona her orders. So here we go again trying to figure out the conspiracy surroundings these girls. Like really, Allison was the straight up bitch, why in the hell are these “A” ass tards torturing them. So far this has been going on for two years. What is the damn point? But I will be visiting netflix to find out more. (sigh)

Mommy Please Don’t Turn Me In


This is a great deterrent from taking things that’s not yours. When I was younger, I stole some bubble gum from the store, and when my mother found out, we returned to the store and she made me apologize. But that wasn’t it! There was also an ass whooping involved. But I guess this method works too.

The Tea With Opinionated Mommy: Uneducated, But Privileged


Uneducated, But Privileged…Your tea is served…

imagesI was honored to witness a phenomenon that most people have not witnessed or choose not to witness because this discussion makes some people a little uncomfortable.

In my journey as a doctoral student I enjoy studying the minds and behaviors of individuals who I have never encountered in life. I have a firm belief that we learn from our associations with people no matter their cultural influences.

Have you ever met someone who felt as though the fortunes of life were owed to them without putting in the necessary work to fulfill what others have accomplished? We see it all the time on television, but actually witnessing the nonsense up close and personal is rather daunting.

Excuse Me While I Serve This Tea!

I have class so of course the identity of this person will remain anonymous while I proceed with this tirade that has been pooling in my entire being since our first encounter.

Due to cultural stereotypes, people may look upon me and think that I have about six kids, barely a high school education, and the recipient of food stamps. There is no offense here. I understand the hypocrisy of our country, and it has become the norm in the lives of African American women.

I am thoroughly offended when some hoe-bag who ain’t got shit to her name aim for something higher in life without sacrifice. You may have hit the “sugar daddy” lottery and had your entire life paid for with the luxuries of “the Jones”, but that doesn’t erase the reality that you maintain a hood-rat persona, despite the pigmentation of your skin.

A highly educated person, because of her race can be mistaken for a hood rat, but a bimbo living hood rich without a pot to piss in is viewed in a different light. Many might not know what it’s like being an educated African American woman living in America, but I bet its a totally different experience than what other women of differing ethnicities endure.

Before coming after the job that I have stayed in school over a decade to possess, please at least get the basic foundation first before rendering me inept. I was doing this job before you even decided that you needed that GED to possess your little $10 an hour job. I’ve broke my back, upset my family, and sacrificed the happiness of my family to possess what you think you can handle without the proper education. Please! I need some bytches to stay in their lane.

Lesbian forgets she’s not a dude

Lesbian forgets she's a dude

Lesbian forgets she’s not a dude!

There are no words to express the hilarity of this photograph.I have no qualms about lesbians flaunting their stuff, but this is going a little too far gay or straight. What I don’t understand is how the guy in the picture thought it would be a good idea to take a photo with a woman who purposely has her breasts hanging as if she is one of the guys. She is still a woman and should have known better. Maybe she was smoking that “stuff” that day.

Genital Mutilation in Failed Relationships

small-penis-cartoon2No matter the reason, criticizing the penis is hitting below the belt. There are many women who use it as a weapon when the relationship fails. Let’s stop the genital mutilation tactics during crucial times in relationships; it’s a total cliche and in the end, criticizing the penis makes you look like a fool and ruins any chance of reconciliation in the future.

It’s not the size of the ocean

Let’s be real, for realz here. Weren’t you the one who bragged to your messy ass girlfriends that “It’s not the size of the ocean, but the motion of the ocean..or lotion…whatever?” That was your justification for accepting a relationship with a man you loved; and with a man who wasn’t necessarily well endowed. Don’t use this flaw against lil-penis just because of bitterness, it’s the worst insult a man can hear from someone he once loved.

The twerking diaries: how to twerk?

Image by: HOWCAST/youtube

Image by: HOWCAST/youtubeI am still an amateur! My husband said I’m, what’s the word he used? STIFF!!!  

I have no idea why this is such a huge deal. As I have mentioned in my last post, people have been shaking their azzes since the beginning of time.

Now that Miley with her no-azz-at-all azz TRIED to twerk, which was an absolute FAIL btw, everyone is so excited about shaking their azz now. Where was the media when Tip Drill came out?

This is the rated X version (I couldn’t find the clean version). If you are under 18 years old, you need to shut down the damn computer and read a book anyway. You are not allowed to view this on my blog.

I don’t have an opinion regarding the appropriateness of the video. I just wanted to demonstrate that twerking has existed for awhile and is highly entrenched in the Hip Hop community. This is a learning moment!!! See how I just turned soft porn into an academic experience? lol

Bleach and Piss

This is dedicated to my neighbors who insist on allowing their child to piss everywhere but the toilet.

Parent Tip AlertI just moved into these really nice apartment homes where I thought me and the “fam fam” wouldn’t be hindered with incompetent front office staff and insane persons trying to commit suicide once a month. Check out my post regarding the idiot down stairs at my previous apartment and his stand off with a fully armed SWAT team.

I will make this as painless as possible. The people next door can be characterized as a neighbor’s worst nightmare. This woman has five children, a cheating live-in boyfriend, and a little boy who refuses to piss in the toilet. Let me repeat that for emphasis…

                         …a little boy who refuses to piss in the toilet. (He is around seven or eight by the way)

Our first day in the apartment, the little boy whipped out his junk and peed on the adjoining porch we unfortunately share with his family.

I didn’t understand why his mother didn’t address this issue when he started socializing and understanding proper etiquette, but her azz is lacking some etiquette her damn self because she has no qualms about public self-humiliation. While I was walking from my baby’s room, I heard her door slam and her screaming as if she were in pain. I thought something was wrong. I peeked out the key hole and she was just fine. She stood right outside my door cussing at the woman who cheating with her man. Every word was an expletive, and sorry to say…very entertaining.

Miley Cyrus fingered herself on national television

Miley Cyrus fingered herself on national television

Jason Kempin/Getty Images for Clear Channel

Miley Cyrus

Miley Cyrus (Photo credit: rwoan)

I’m not the one to sensationalize certain tragedies but there was no way I could pass up this opportunity without giving my 2 cents and a dollarl. I understand that Miley Cyrus is an adult, but at least have some class about yourself. I won’t even hate on the wardrobe because all pop stars have had a “barely-there” moment from Beyonce, Britney, and definitely Lady Gaga. So it’s not the clothes, even though what she wore was not very flattering. The flesh toned panties accentuated the fact that she has no azz-at-all and leotards should flee upon her arrival.

Fingering or Air Guitar?

The uproar is about the behavior. While trying to rock it out with the air guitar, it appeared as though she were tickling herself…down there. She proceeded to grind and thrust her no-azz-at-all up against anyone and anything in her vicinity while wagging her tongue like a dog in heat.  And what was the deal with screwing the baseball finger? How did this violation of the finger add any substance to the performance? She was actually thrusting herself on a finger on national television. She was acting like a horny teenage girl desperate for attention and high on Crystal Meth.

Pandering to Pedophiles?

Let us then analyze the theme of the entire performance. There were care-bears and half-naked women with huge fluffy hair on stage. Miley wore a leotard with a red-tongued cartoon on the front. Who is her audience? Why is she targeting young girls and pedophiles?  I was speechless and didn’t know whether to scream or just hurl from disgust. A touch of class can go a long way, Miley!

I’m a Grown Azz Man/Woman


Don’t you get tired of hearing that old phrase of I’m a grown ass man or I’m a grown ass woman? It’s starting to plague society like that ridiculous Television show Scandal is doing our TV air waves! I mean essentially if you are as grown as you say you are, you should not have to yell it out like a rambunctious child.

The first time I heard this phrase was from a crack head in the parking lot of Stater Bro’s because I failed to give her enough change for a snack at Jack -N- Box, so she say! The crack head became irate when I inquired about the purpose she needed two dollars. She responded “do you got it or not? Don’t be questioning me about no damn two dollars; I’m a grown ass woman!” Now if you know me, you know that I looked at her like you done lost your crack headed azz mind talking to me like that after I just gave you a dollar fifty of my hard earned money. I told her mam, I’m giving you this money because I’m a man of God first and I would want somebody to help me if I was hungry. But let’s be real, you on that powder! I know because I grew up with a crack head that once stole my Starter coat and wore it all summer then sold it for a 10 dollar rock!

Long story short, I informed her that true grownups don’t broadcast it, they show it, they live it, they about it.  Growing up is a process not a race. If it were that simple, we’d all be track stars. So if you’re one of those people that like to inform us all that you are grown because you pay 2 bills, please do some self-reflection and GET REAL!!@


Guest Writer

Internet Marketing Stole the Virgin’s Panties…GONE!


Back in the day, but not that long ago,

I was scammed multiple times by marketing schemes and was caught off guard with the gravity of persuasiveness within the article’s content. Expert internet marketers pay professionals to write premium content that can seduce a rigid virgin out of her panties after reading one or two paragraphs. Then after spending the money you’re screwed with smelly stained drawers and a curious look on your face. They make so many promises and make them sound soooooo great, and some, including me, just fall for it every time.

When I was first getting to feel my way around the internet in college, my motto was: fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me, fool me again, maybe third time is a charm! It sounded like some kind of gambling addiction. I knew there was a significant risk in marketing opportunities, but I always felt like the next time would be the one. Of course you live and you learn from your mistakes, and as you can tell I was an idiot on many occasions. I was single, in college, and could do what I wanted so throwing away a little money here and there was no big deal.

However, 31 years old, a baby, a husband, a doctorate program, and thousands of miles away from the republican and female oppressive state of Texas, there is no way in hell on earth I will throw away any money on these ratchet azz scams. And when someone says something is free, you better believe you will be giving up something whether it be an email address, a date of birth, your name, SOMETHING. Nothing is ever free.



Let me first start off by saying that I have tried twerking it for the hubby with no success. I hope there is a class on YouTube I can take to improve my technique (lmao); but just know that ish stays where it should, in the bedroom. However, I’m not throwing any shaderade your way. There is nothing wrong with your grown azz twerking on YouTube because you have the right to make a donkey of yourself. Personally, many people who are showing their jelly beans and pop cycles have some deep self-esteem issues that have never been resolved. Whatever you do in your free time is your business, and obviously all of YouTube.

The twerking phenom has been stripped and repackaged, this is just the 2013 version. People have been shaking their azzez since the beginning of time. Anyway, I could care less about millions of grown people bouncing their azzez on garbage containers, what isn’t appropriate is uploading a video of your child twerking it in some cut off shorts and a tank top. Parents be aware that there are child predators trolling the internet just looking for children to watch for their pleasure, and you are providing them with all the footage they need.

I know I sound real snooty right now and yall think I have my panties all in a bunch, but I have empathy and have tried Visualization and walked through a situation in which my child started twerking:

 I’m chilling over my cousin’s house and we watching the new Busta Rhymes video featuring Nicki Minaj. I guess the children heard the video “Twerk it” in the other room and decided to watch. I was uneasy because the video is nothing a child should watch, especially a little girl. There are gyrating women every where shaking every 3 inches of their 30 inches of azz. DANG. The kids started dancing, jumping around looking crazy, just messing around at first, then my little cousin decides she would dance like Nicki Minaj. At this point during my visualization I ignored her because my mental daughter Chloe, continued to do the awkward kid dances at first. Oh, but not before long, that little heffa started twerking and showing all these variations of twerking. I felt the anger rising and a wave of heat washed over me. I was seeing red. I continued my mental role play to get the full gist of what I would do if someone tried to video my baby. The drama continued when my little cousin wanted to do a split and twerk the floor while her mother recorded it with her iPhone. At that point in my role play, I snatched up my child and got the hell up out of there. You ain’t putting my child on the internet twerking no damn floor.

Ok, so after that experiment I knew that no parent in their right mind would feel comfortable about their child being posted online doing something that may be considered sexual in nature. If we analyze the twerking phenom for how it is defined, it is the representation of yourself as a sexual being and having a great time, and listening to banging music. That is appropriate for grown women, but not little girls or teenagers who should be worrying about school and participating in extracurricular activities. I’ve seen YouTube videos in which the mother is twerking on the side of her daughter, basically sending a message that this type of behavior is normal.

My job interview caused a stroke

As some may know, I am working on my PhD right now and juggling a family and other responsibilities, so it is safe to assume that I am pretty sharp about certain things.

Image by! Yes there is a but! I analyze myself daily and I know exactly how I work, how I think, and how I react. Job interviews are not the best settings for me to shine. Lol The last interview I had was so horrible I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry it was so
funny and devastating. It was a phone interview. I know you are thinking. Really? A phone interview? I can do that on the toilet while smoking a blunt? Well, as I said before, job interviews are not the the optimum settings for me to shine, it’s like the clouds are generating some serious shaderade on a sistah.

I won’t go into the entire interview, but they asked whether I had any programming experience, and I have but I think I suffered an anxiety-stroke attack ( made up condition) that shut down my brain and just anythang  fell out of my mouth. “I sponsored a Diva Day.” Soon as the words Diva and Day fell out of my mouth I knew these people thought I was crazy. Then they wanted me to elaborate on the nonsense, but I think they just wanted some entertainment. They knew it was ridiculous, I knew it was ridiculous, why continue highlighting this critical mistake? I explained that “Diva Day” was a Friday appreciation day for the office. I decorated the tables pink and black and brought cakes and other sweets for us to snack on all day. I boosted morale and it gave the staff an excuse to eat devil’s food for eight hours.

Y’all, those people were speechless!!!! and ready to get off that phone so quick after that explanation. I guess I can’t blame them, I’m from the deep south so I sound very different from what they are used to here in California. (Silly Southern Gal)

For the prudes, sometimes I make up my own words or spellings because its my blog and I can do that, OK, thank you!




At least once in your life you will drop every thing and walk out of the door, without caring if the door hits you in the assets. What a grand, unadvised step to take considering the economic pit falls.However, there is this overwhelming moment while sitting at the desk trying to address every client and ensure that reports are submitted by imposed deadlines. Its a rather tedious job, being a social worker and all. Home visits, transporting children to their parent visits, and trying to control foster parents who are, most of the time, crazier than the natural parents. When I walked out the office, followed by my EX supervisor, I yelled….I’M FREE…at the top of my lungs. It felt great! I may be job hunting for awhile, but there was no way I could remain in such a hostile working environment without having a psychotic break.